Speech Written for a Burns Night Address to the Ladies

Ladies and Gentlemen,

First of all, I’d like to thank all those of you told me how much you were looking forward to this speech… but I can’t because none of you did!

I can say how much I’ve been looking forward to enjoying this splendid Highland supper and I’d like to thank, on behalf of everyone else, those individuals who have created the veritable feast we enjoy this evening: the spud boiler, the neap and tattie peelers, the Haggis simmerer, the Whiskey marinater, the pudding makers (or pudding buyers as the case may be), the tea brewer and, last but not least, the coffee percolator. If any others have been left out, you have both my apologies and sincere appreciation.

In opting to give this address, I cannot say that it was in taken a haze of self-deceit because I profess to know at least as little about women as any other man here. In fact some would say that I know less than that. One can only attempt to compensate for this deficiency by being at all times tactful and courteous to the opposite sex.

However, I can at least observe that in 25 Plus, we men folk are blessed with as talented and as fair a variety of women as one might hope to find anywhere… in the world… of English Christian social groups. In many ways, it is not possible to generalise about the ladies of 25 Plus when they express such a rich variety of characters and dress styles! But it must be stated that it is largely through the imagination and endeavours of the 25 Plus women that we all have such a splendid and varied programme of events to look forward to each month; and it is through the wise and discerning council of the 25 Plus women that we have been spared the pitfalls of unsuitable venues for 25 Plus events such as Bernard Manning’s Embassy Club, the Metropol Casino on Princess Street or Jilly’s Heavy Rock Club on Oxford Road.

One must not forget the forbearance and patience of the 25 Plus Women: their sheer fortitude in listening to Charlie talk all night about cricket, the discretion shown in not commenting on Robin’s choice of shirts, the bravery in testing Jonathan’s cooking experiments, the courage shown in coming in some my own walks or indeed, the sheer self-denial in choosing venues for 25 Plus weekends at places that never seem to have a pub nearby! It is then with these sentiments that I ask you all to charge your glasses and drink a toast to the Ladies.

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